Image Credits: Wikimedia.org
It’s now after midnight, making it the beginning of a new day. This new day just so happens to be Christmas Eve. I’m definitely feeling the Christmas spirit right about now. I watched Home Alone when I got home from work and now I’m eating some peppermint cookies paired with white chocolate mint coffee. And you know what I’m thinking of? Elves. And do you know what elves make me think of? Gnomes and how much better off they are.
Ever since I was a kid I had an extreme hatred for elves. I always thought they were incredibly creepy. My parents had this really old elf decoration. I think it came from my grandmother. It was supposed to be Santa’s helper (which honestly made it a lot creepier). The thing looked liked a 90 year old female troll. It had pointy ears and shoes and held a candle in its hands. The worst part was it moved. It was just so creepy. My sister and I always hoped someone would “accidentally” break it.
Image Credits: CNYNews.com
I always liked gnomes though. I started to collect them when I was in 7th grade. I really don’t know why. Ever since I knew what they were I thought they were really cool. They definitely don’t creep me out the way gnomes do. They are definitely different from elves. Never let anyone tell you otherwise…if they try to then they are most definitely WRONG!
This blog post here is inspired by the story of the stupid ex-boyfriend that couldn’t tell a gnome apart from an elf. Two years ago I was in a relationship with someone I shouldn’t have been to say the least lol. Well at the time we have been dating for just two months. We were excited for Christmas, but weren’t really going “all out”. We’ve only been together for two months and he just lost his job before the holiday. But we still wanted to do something special. He figured he’d get me a gnome. I’ve mentioned several times that I liked them. I didn’t think it would be that easy to buy though. Unless you get them online, they aren’t very easy to find in stores.
My exboyfriend never took the time to really understand what gnomes were and to study how they are different from elves. I think in his mind they were just simply lawn ornaments. Finding one would be easy then, right? Just go to a garden store and pick one out. This is what he did. He did not bring home a gnome — but rather an elf. The scariest elf I ever saw in my entire life. It was fat, mean, and ugly. It was frowning. It had his arms crossed. It was terrifying.
Everyone that seen it knew it was an elf. It had pointy ears and shoes, too. It didn’t look anything remotely close to a gnome. But of course I was a good, appreciative girlfriend and I thanked him and pretended it was the greatest gift ever. I was so excited to finally throw it in the trash and never have to see it again when we broke up 3 months later…
We have now been broken up for a little less than 2 years. I still don’t get how someone could mix up gnomes and elves. But for those of you that still can’t quite get it right…here are 5 Ways That Gnomes Are Different (And Better!) Than Elves.
1. Gnomes Wear Red Hats. Okay, sometimes they change the color of their hats to blue, but they are almost ALWAYS red. It’s a signature item. If it doesn’t have a hat, it’s definitely not a gnome. Elves can wear hats sometimes, too. The elf hat is definitely not the same as the gnome hat. Not even close. See, this is a gnome hat:
Image Credits: Wholesale Fancy Dress
This here, on the other hand, is an elf hat:
Image Credits: Amazon
Yep. Completely different hats.
2. Gnomes Work In The Garden And Gnome Work For Santa. Two completely different occupations. The gnomes are much harder workers. ;). Does anyone else find the whole Santa/Santa’s helpers (elves) thing a bit creepy? Think about it. Santa’s really old and he employs all these little elves to make toys for children. I don’t know. Santa reminds me a bit of a pedophile sometimes and his elves seem like his slaves. The whole thing is kind of creepy. The gnomes aren’t creepy like that. They just want to hang out in the garden. They’re helpful…they will help your garden grow to be bountiful!
3. Elfs Wear Pointy Shoes. What’s up with that? They look really uncomfortable.
4. Elfs Have Pointy Ears. Why??? What’s the point of their pointy ears other than to make them even more creepy?
5. Elfs Are Only Relevant During Christmas Time. Sure, the gnomes make their grand appearance in the spring, but they are still relevant during all the other months, too. They don’t focus their work on one holiday…they work in the garden YEAR round. They also enjoy being used as novelty items to represent your favorite sports team, or even just serve as a little friend.
In conclusion, there are several very obvious differences between elves and gnomes. Elves are incredibly creepy and should never be given as gifts. All the cool people like gnomes. Gnomes make excellent gifts for everyone.
Image Credits: Perez Hilton
Rumors that pop star Justin Bieber may play Robin in the new Batman VS. Superman movie began to swirl on Friday night after Bieber posted a Batman VS. Superman script on his Instagram account. The photo contained the hashtag #robin ?? as a caption. The script also contained a special watermark with Bieber’s last name, showing that it was intended to be directly for him.
Image Credits: Justin Bieber’s Instagram
While many feel that the new Batman VS. Superman movie is already doomed with the terrible acting choice of Ben Affleck as Batman, relax. There is a good chance that the script is fake and written for comical purposes only. Bieber recently tweeted:
Off to do something funny or…die :).
This tweet suggests that Bieber is planning to do a skit for Funny or Die which could explain the reason behind the possibly phony script and unusual casting choice.
Do you think that the script is a fake? Would you like to see Bieber act as Robin in the new Batman VS. Robin movie or would you prefer to just see him mock it in a Funny or Die skit?
Image Credits: Sodahead.com
For this Throwback Thursday I decided to go beyond my traditional throw back Thursday photographs and post a blog containing my top 10 favorite songs from the 1990’s. I got this idea after seeing a post on Yahoo.com about songs that are now 10 years old. Their list made me feel incredibly old and nostalgic so I decided to choose 10 songs that I felt best summed up my childhood in the 1990’s time period. Here’s my list in order from 10-1 (1 being my top choice):
10. Smash Mouth – All Star
Smash Mouth was all over the 1990’s. Their hit song “All Star” was all the rage for 90’s kids like myself. You couldn’t go anywhere without hearing this song on the radio at least once. It was a bit of an anthem for us kids with a powerful message that encouraged us to follow our dreams. The lyrics brought along some classic lines such as “she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an ‘L’ on her forehead”. Admit it…you made this gesture at least once during your elementary years.
Image Credits: Fits News
Smash Mouth simply created a trend and became a bit of a legend in the 90’s. Pretty much all of their songs sounded the same and the band seemed to fall off the face of the Earth in the early 2000’s, but man those days spent listening to “All Star” in the 90’s sure were glorious.
9. The Bloodhound Gang – The Bad Touch –
This song came out in 1999 when I was just 9 years old. At the time I had no problem belting out the song’s sex-infused lyrics such as “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel” or “”Put your hands down my pants and I’ll bet you’ll feel nuts”. I was completely oblivious to the sex references. The video was equally obnoxious as it featured animal porn (only they could pull that off…), cages, dry humping, and even a few shots of the band members pretending to engage in doggy-style sex — and this was the censored version! 9 year old me just saw this video and thought, “Ooh! What a friendly little band dressed as monkeys! They look so funny!”
Image Credits: PerezHilton.com
But now 23 year old me looks back and sees them for what they were: a bunch of horny animals with an extremely catchy song that somewhat disturbingly became an anthem of my youth.
8. Mandy Moore – Candy
In an era where former mousketeers Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera battled to become the reigning queen, Mandy Moore was often long forgotten. Sure, everyone knew of her, but very few people gave her the attention she deserved. She never makes it on top songs from the 90’s lists, except for this one. Mandy Moore was easy to forget with her rather shy and reserved personality. She was the girl next door, but unlike Britney she never allowed the media to turn her into a sex object. If anything Mandy became MORE reserved and conservative over the years. In fact Candy might just be the most sexual, provocative video Mandy’s ever released and that’s saying a lot since this video is really quite innocent. It oozes 90’s fashion though. Check out Mandy’s spikey messy bun! Those headphones!
Image Credits: Buzz Feed
And who can forget that 90’s era Volkswagon beetle?
Image Credits: imcdb.org
Listening to this song and watching the video that accompanies it is like a trip down 90’s memory lane. The song is extremely catchy and fun and will be stuck in your head for days — once you actually remember it exists. Poor Mandy. Never getting half the credit she deserves.
7. Jessica Simpson -I Think I’m In Love
Remember when Jessica Simpson wasn’t super annoying and could actually sing pretty well? This song is proof of it. I can’t help but feel a little bit sad when I hear this song and remember the 90’s when Jessica Simpson was actually tolerable and listening to her music wasn’t considered cruel and unusual punishment. This song was actually GOOD! Listening to it reminded me of my old grade-school crush that I was so convinced I was in love with since like Simpson, I found myself “doing silly things” when it came to him. Except I’m sure she did it with some sense of grace (after all, this was the era before her infamous ditzy blonde stage…). The video was pretty simple. Simpson wore a white blouse that tied above her midriff in true 90’s fashion but was much less memorable than the one Britney donned in the Baby One More Time Video.
Image Credits: YouTube
For most of the video Simpson was just kind of chilling around town on a bridge or singing in her friend’s jeep. Innocent and low key, similar to Mandy but somehow more memorable.
6. BBMak – Back Here
Few people will remember this trio of fine British men known as BBMak (their name was a play on the member’s last names… Barry, Burns, McNally. The band was only around for a short time from 1999-2003, but in that time the band enjoyed great success. “Back Here” was their most well-known and popular hit. The song served as a breakup anthem, but the video which showed a female love interest acting as a tourist and the band gathered around a train station help hint at the possibility that this song was about more than just a difficult breakup, but rather the breakup of a long-distance relationship.
Image Credits: FanPop
9 year old me didn’t understand the content of the song too much, but now 23 year old me understands it all too well. As I have been going through my own personal breakup of a long-distance relationship this song has served as a bit of an anthem for me. Remembering hearing it as a 9 year old is comforting, too. 9 year old me didn’t have difficult long-distance relationships. 9 year old me just had a major crush on the band’s lead singer, Christian Burns and a new obsession with British accents….
5. Limp Bizkit – Nookie
Okay, so if I didn’t get the sex references in the Bloodhound Gang’s The Bad Touch at age 9 I sure as hell didn’t get the sex references in this song at age 8. I just thought “nookie” sounded like a really cool, fun made up word and I liked telling people to stick that cookie up their ass (okay so Fred Durst never actually said where he was going to stick that cookie, but I felt it was a safe assumption to make). Listening to Limp Bizkit made me feel tough. Fred Durst was such a bad ass back then (he didn’t seem all whiny, immature, and annoying like he does now) and this band was always so angry and screaming, which I thought was kind of fun and quite a bit different from all of the pop music I usually listened to in the 90’s.
4. Blink 182 – What’s My Age Again?
This may very well be the only song on my list that people aren’t ashamed to admit they still listen to on a regular basis. Blink-182 wasn’t strictly a 90’s band. Blink-182 was REVOLUTIONARY, or maybe even a classic. I still remember the first time I ever heard a Blink-182 song. I was only about 8 years old and it was unlike anything I’ve ever heard before. Blink-182 was the first rock band I ever fell in love with and at age 23, I must say my love for them is now even more profound. I can also finally fully appreciate this song, “What’s My Age Again?”. As a 9 year old this song was fun to listen to, but as a 23 year old it all makes sense. It’s all about having fun, living carefree, and not taking life too seriously despite your friends constantly telling you to “just grow up”. It does a good job of summing up my 90’s childhood experiences, too. The video covers the band’s personality and shows them running around naked before being naked in music videos was considered “cool” or even “appropriate”. The thing is when Blink-182 ran around naked it was to have fun and get a laugh.
Image Credits: Last.fm
There was nothing sexual about it at all. They didn’t care about being sexy, they cared about having fun, and to me, that makes them sexy.
3. Christina Aguilera – What A Girl Wants
I never really knew who Christina was singing about here, but whoever it was I liked him. He was patient and he did everything a boyfriend should do! I didn’t really know what it was a boyfriend should do and Christina never got very specific, but whatever it was he did it. He knew exactly what that was and he did it. I hoped my future boyfriend would be like him — he’d just know exactly what to do and we would live in a bliss of happiness and love.
2. Britney Spears – Sometimes
Everyone was all over Britney Spears’s first single in the 90’s, Baby One More Time, but I always preferred Sometimes. I thought Sometimes showed a toned-down, more low key version of Spears and the song was a bit slower and well, almost “pretty”. Looking back at it now I miss this side of Spears. She doesn’t seem to exist anymore. Back then she was an innocent, young singer with a beautiful voice. Now she is, well, Britney Spears. ‘Nuff said, right? Christina was always the better singer, but Britney had something about her that made her so unforgettable (even before her 2011 melt down). Singing abilities aside, Britney always beat out Christina.
1. The Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way
This song will forever define the 90’s. It came out towards the end of the 90’s right before the beginning of a new millennium (it was only fitting for the band’s album to be called Millennium). This song still gets it’s fair share of radio play in malls, 90’s themed parties, and well, anywhere it seems. The backstreet boys were THE band of the 90’s. Sure, there were other boybands like N’sync (which didn’t make this list obviously since I’m team BSB and you can’t be team N’sync AND team BSB…it just doesn’t work that way), but they weren’t the same. N’sync ended when JT’s career took off on its own. They didn’t need to stay together. When the BSB’s tried solo careers no one really cared. It wasn’t the backstreet boys. The Backstreet Boy were meant to always stay together which is why now, over a decade later they are still going strong.
The lyrics and the video for the song weren’t all that special. As I look back on it now I realize what I knew back then — it still doesn’t make sense. “You are…my fire…the one…desire…” Seriously, what does that even mean? And the video? They’re just kind of hanging out in an airport…nothing fancy here.
Image Credits: La Weekly Blogs
But they are the Backstreet Boys. They ARE the 1990’s. They don’t need to make sense or have cool music videos. When it comes to the 1990’s the Backstreet Boys were simply untouchable.
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