Image Credits: Wikimedia.org
It’s now after midnight, making it the beginning of a new day. This new day just so happens to be Christmas Eve. I’m definitely feeling the Christmas spirit right about now. I watched Home Alone when I got home from work and now I’m eating some peppermint cookies paired with white chocolate mint coffee. And you know what I’m thinking of? Elves. And do you know what elves make me think of? Gnomes and how much better off they are.
Ever since I was a kid I had an extreme hatred for elves. I always thought they were incredibly creepy. My parents had this really old elf decoration. I think it came from my grandmother. It was supposed to be Santa’s helper (which honestly made it a lot creepier). The thing looked liked a 90 year old female troll. It had pointy ears and shoes and held a candle in its hands. The worst part was it moved. It was just so creepy. My sister and I always hoped someone would “accidentally” break it.
Image Credits: CNYNews.com
I always liked gnomes though. I started to collect them when I was in 7th grade. I really don’t know why. Ever since I knew what they were I thought they were really cool. They definitely don’t creep me out the way gnomes do. They are definitely different from elves. Never let anyone tell you otherwise…if they try to then they are most definitely WRONG!
This blog post here is inspired by the story of the stupid ex-boyfriend that couldn’t tell a gnome apart from an elf. Two years ago I was in a relationship with someone I shouldn’t have been to say the least lol. Well at the time we have been dating for just two months. We were excited for Christmas, but weren’t really going “all out”. We’ve only been together for two months and he just lost his job before the holiday. But we still wanted to do something special. He figured he’d get me a gnome. I’ve mentioned several times that I liked them. I didn’t think it would be that easy to buy though. Unless you get them online, they aren’t very easy to find in stores.
My exboyfriend never took the time to really understand what gnomes were and to study how they are different from elves. I think in his mind they were just simply lawn ornaments. Finding one would be easy then, right? Just go to a garden store and pick one out. This is what he did. He did not bring home a gnome — but rather an elf. The scariest elf I ever saw in my entire life. It was fat, mean, and ugly. It was frowning. It had his arms crossed. It was terrifying.
Everyone that seen it knew it was an elf. It had pointy ears and shoes, too. It didn’t look anything remotely close to a gnome. But of course I was a good, appreciative girlfriend and I thanked him and pretended it was the greatest gift ever. I was so excited to finally throw it in the trash and never have to see it again when we broke up 3 months later…
We have now been broken up for a little less than 2 years. I still don’t get how someone could mix up gnomes and elves. But for those of you that still can’t quite get it right…here are 5 Ways That Gnomes Are Different (And Better!) Than Elves.
1. Gnomes Wear Red Hats. Okay, sometimes they change the color of their hats to blue, but they are almost ALWAYS red. It’s a signature item. If it doesn’t have a hat, it’s definitely not a gnome. Elves can wear hats sometimes, too. The elf hat is definitely not the same as the gnome hat. Not even close. See, this is a gnome hat:
Image Credits: Wholesale Fancy Dress
This here, on the other hand, is an elf hat:
Image Credits: Amazon
Yep. Completely different hats.
2. Gnomes Work In The Garden And Gnome Work For Santa. Two completely different occupations. The gnomes are much harder workers. ;). Does anyone else find the whole Santa/Santa’s helpers (elves) thing a bit creepy? Think about it. Santa’s really old and he employs all these little elves to make toys for children. I don’t know. Santa reminds me a bit of a pedophile sometimes and his elves seem like his slaves. The whole thing is kind of creepy. The gnomes aren’t creepy like that. They just want to hang out in the garden. They’re helpful…they will help your garden grow to be bountiful!
3. Elfs Wear Pointy Shoes. What’s up with that? They look really uncomfortable.
4. Elfs Have Pointy Ears. Why??? What’s the point of their pointy ears other than to make them even more creepy?
5. Elfs Are Only Relevant During Christmas Time. Sure, the gnomes make their grand appearance in the spring, but they are still relevant during all the other months, too. They don’t focus their work on one holiday…they work in the garden YEAR round. They also enjoy being used as novelty items to represent your favorite sports team, or even just serve as a little friend.
In conclusion, there are several very obvious differences between elves and gnomes. Elves are incredibly creepy and should never be given as gifts. All the cool people like gnomes. Gnomes make excellent gifts for everyone.
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